Updates from Susan Halaut

What Do Chopsticks Have To Do With DISC Method of Behavior?

What Do Chopsticks Have To Do With DISC Method of Behavior?
Jeff and I were at a sushi restaurant recently and these are our chopsticks.

Apparently I broke mine wrong... and that was a problem…according to Jeff. At which point, and without asking me I might add, he asked the waitress if I could have a new set.

In my mind, I agree, they don't look  perfect and they didn’t break straight down the middle. But, honestly, I just needed to use them to get food in my mouth...from point A to point B, right?

He disagreed and so I asked why he thought so. He proceeded to give me some really great answers why they would be less than perfect for the task at hand, including balance, which I get.

But, me being me, at which point  I just proceeded to use them to put food in my mouth. LOL!

You see my DISC style is D and D-wired people are focused on results. My focus in that moment… was getting my food from point A to point B. Ta-da...it worked! Who knew? 

But he is C-wired and C-wired people are concerned about things being done with perfection. There is a right and a wrong way to do things. I get it and honest to God, we NEED these people in our lives!

You will often hear D-wired individual say, “Let’s do it”. While C-wired individuals will say, “Let’s do it right!”

For other couples, this could have led to a huge fight, especially if this is a something that consistently comes up where one spouse criticizes or disagrees with the way the other spouse does something. This chopstick scenario could have been like ripping a band-aid off of an unhealed wound. Maybe even leading to comments like, “why do you always do that?” “Why can’t I ever do anything right in your eyes?” or “Why do you always have to complain about the way I do things?” Do any of those sound familiar?

For us, Jeff and I are both well versed in DISC and know each other’s style. So in that moment we bantered back and forth actually talking about how our DISC styles were being brought to light in the situation. We got a good chuckle and moved on with our day. Crisis avoided!!!

If you are struggling to navigate communication with your partner, I’d love to help you. I’ve created a DISC for couples debrief that I can walk you through that will help you better understand how you and your partner are naturally wired to communicate and how you can have better expectations of your partner’s behaviors, especially their behavior under stress. And, I'll say, this has been especially helpful for Jeff and I because, let's face it, sometimes life just sneaks up on you and you might not even realize you are under stress. Now that I know Jeff’s stress signals and tendencies, I can go to him with compassion instead of annoyance and ask if there is anything I can do to help today.

If this sounds like something you’d like to discuss, send me a DM and let’s get on a call and I’ll walk you through the next steps. They are pretty amazing!

The Lion

The Lion
Words that came to my mind: Raw, Possessive, Real, Uncontested, Unquestioned, Power, Position, Awe.
There was something so powerful about this piece of art, so awe inspiring that I couldn’t look away and at the same time it was so raw, I felt like I should look away.
For the next 48 hours God kept bringing this painting into my consciousness. He used it to reveal Himself to me in a deeper way. It significantly upped the level of awe that I felt for Him and His power. It increased my faith.
God is SO possessive of His people… of me!
He was not afraid to shed blood to claim His possession.
In my spirit I heard, “ Oh the arrogance of our enemy! Oh the blindness of his ego…our ego!”
Hebrews 1:3 tells us that Jesus, the Lion of Judah, “is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature.” God’s nature is to be lovingly possessive of His people. His unconditional  and never-ending love and passionate possessiveness is beyond our human comprehension. His nature is to be protector of His people.
When I look at that lion, I don’t question what would happen if I were to try to take from the lion what is his. I have a fear of him, a healthy fear. I have no doubt what he’s capable of. I have a reverence for his power and his station in the kingdom. He is the king after all, and I am not.
How is it, though, that I sometimes question the even higher power, capabilities and station of it’s Creator? His above-ness of all things…people, problems, circumstances, things?
Why do I question whether He sees me, knows my struggles, my heartaches? Why do I think He takes his eyes off me? Why do I sometimes fear the enemy and his agenda? Do you think this lion would take his eyes off his possession?
Just as you would never dare take from that lion what is his, you are...I am…the possession of the Lion of Judah, bought and paid for with blood. That’s raw…that’s real!
Do I not think He would fight for me and that my enemy is already under His feet?
As I look into the eyes of this lion, I see those are My Father’s eyes when the enemy wants to lay hands on me.
He fights for me… for you. He is my defender…and yours.
When I looked upon this lion, I would not dare take what is his, yet the enemy continues to try… Oh the arrogance!
Oh my arrogance… believing this battle is my own; for it is not.
This lion is a reminder of Who I have as my Protector and where my confidence lies.


Art courtesy of Doug Giles. Check out more of his work @ douggiles.art

Your Story is Valuable

Your Story is Valuable
Our testimony is the story of our relationship with and experience of our Father God. We can tell people all day long what they should and shouldn’t do, how they should and shouldn’t act. We can tell them how they have sinned and fallen short, that Jesus is the one true way. That no matter what their circumstances are they should be joyful. (Insert eyeroll here from those who have no clue what you are talking about with your pie-in-the-sky theology). But listen…nothing comes close to the power of sharing with people what a relationship with the Most High God actually looks like in our lives. 

 
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He Looks At Me Like That Too

He Looks At Me Like That Too
Each one of us were created on purpose, with purpose and if we waste time stuck in a skewed version of our worth and value we will not be about the work He created us to do. We will not step out in boldness using all of those amazing and unique characteristics, traits, and gifts to fulfill our destiny. 
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Rosemary, Pots & Aliens

Rosemary, Pots & Aliens
By learning how my husband is different from me, I can have more realistic expectations that lead to a healthier relationship with more effective communication. I have less moments when I feel there has been an alien invasion.

What could have ended up as an emotional, knock-down, drag out fight ended in a good chuckle and a compassionate acknowledgement of our differences…and those differences make us perfect for one another.
 
He is the Simon to my Garfunkel…the gravy to my biscuits…the sugar in my tea…my soulmate.
 
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About me...

My name is Susan Halaut and I am a mom of a blended family with 4 boys. In the beginning, life was a challenge. There were days when I didn’t want to go home after work. Home was not a safe harbor. Home was more like an emotional battleground. Driving home, I felt like I had to put on armor to prepare for the battle that awaited me when I walked in the door.

Have you ever felt like that? Do you feel like that now?

It was lonely. It was stressful. It was exhausting. It was defeating. It was everything my husband and I didn’t expect it to be when we first fell in love.

Today, our family is not perfect…but it has become a place where we (parents and kids) want to run to…not away from.

It is my mission to equip, empower and uplifting families with tools, techniques, tips and strategies that will transform their lives… healing their hearts, bringing peace to their storm and helping them to raise the children they are responsible for and become better leaders themselves.

I want to give parents freedom to know that while none of us are perfect parents, we can be effective parents.

I want to make a difference in this world by leaving a legacy where the next generation is a world filled with strong, powerful, authentic, purposeful families who are intentional about leading and guiding children into reaching their fullest potential.

What about you?

What if there was a light at the end of the tunnel?

How would your life be different?
- if you felt like your kids and partner listened to you
- if you could authentically connect with your stepchildren
- if you could effectively communicate with your ex and their partner
- if you could learn to parent together with your current partner
- if you learned to love and value yourself and find peace within

It's never too late to become a stronger family. It's never too late to empower yourself and your family to create the life your family deserves. 

Let's work together to help you create a home where all members feel loved, valued, respected, connected and accepted. 

Photo of Susan Halaut