Rosemary, Pots & Aliens

Do you ever get the feeling that aliens have invaded the brains of your family?


Yesterday everything was great. Today…not so much!

 

I’ve had those days too. Days when you feel they are speaking a different language (Klingon… maybe?) and you just feel like you might as well be talking to a wall or banging your head against it.

 

What about those days when you can’t figure out WHY they are acting that way? Yesterday they were normal. Today…not so much!

 

Recently I bought my husband a good-sized rosemary plant. We didn’t have a pot big enough for it. He was headed to the store so I asked him to find a pot he liked and go ahead and grab it so we could get the rosemary replanted. When he returned home from the store, he returned WITHOUT the pot.

 

“Where is the pot for the rosemary?” I asked.

 

“I couldn’t decide,” he responded.

 

I had a choice. I could get mad and have an entire conversation with him in my head…why can’t he just handle this? What’s wrong with him? It’s just a pot for goodness sake!

 

 I could verbalize to him make him feel inadequate…”what is your problem? Can’t you do anything I ask you to do? Why can’t you ever make a decision?”

 

…OR because I’ve taken the time (we both have) to learn about each of our personality styles using the Maxwell DISC Method, I can acknowledge how he is uniquely different from me.

 

I am a DI; as such, I make decisions very quickly. Sometimes this benefits me, sometimes…not so much. He is a CS. He needs time to make a decision…even decisions about a silly pot. He likes more information before making a decision, whereas, my brain goes into overload if you give me too much information. I want the Readers Digest version.

 

We balance one another. He is the Ying to my Yang.

 

In the Maxwell DISC Method world, we learn this…

 

People are different but they are predictably different.

 

By learning how my husband is different from me, I can have more realistic expectations that lead to a healthier relationship with more effective communication. I have less moments when I feel there has been an alien invasion.

 

So, in situations like this, where he comes home sans the pot. We simply look at each other and laugh. OK…there might have even been eye rolling. Shhh!

 

He says, “I know…it was my C coming out and I couldn’t make a decision. Could you just pick one up?”

 

I respond, “no worries. I was wondering if you would be able to decide on one. I already planned to hit Home Goods tomorrow. I’ll handle it”

 

What could have ended up as an emotional, knock-down, drag out fight ended in a good chuckle and a compassionate acknowledgement of our differences…and those differences make us perfect for one another.

 

He is the Simon to my Garfunkel…the gravy to my biscuits…the sugar in my tea…my soulmate.

 

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About me...

My name is Susan Halaut and I am a mom of a blended family with 4 boys. In the beginning, life was a challenge. There were days when I didn’t want to go home after work. Home was not a safe harbor. Home was more like an emotional battleground. Driving home, I felt like I had to put on armor to prepare for the battle that awaited me when I walked in the door.

Have you ever felt like that? Do you feel like that now?

It was lonely. It was stressful. It was exhausting. It was defeating. It was everything my husband and I didn’t expect it to be when we first fell in love.

Today, our family is not perfect…but it has become a place where we (parents and kids) want to run to…not away from.

It is my mission to equip, empower and uplifting families with tools, techniques, tips and strategies that will transform their lives… healing their hearts, bringing peace to their storm and helping them to raise the children they are responsible for and become better leaders themselves.

I want to give parents freedom to know that while none of us are perfect parents, we can be effective parents.

I want to make a difference in this world by leaving a legacy where the next generation is a world filled with strong, powerful, authentic, purposeful families who are intentional about leading and guiding children into reaching their fullest potential.

What about you?

What if there was a light at the end of the tunnel?

How would your life be different?
- if you felt like your kids and partner listened to you
- if you could authentically connect with your stepchildren
- if you could effectively communicate with your ex and their partner
- if you could learn to parent together with your current partner
- if you learned to love and value yourself and find peace within

It's never too late to become a stronger family. It's never too late to empower yourself and your family to create the life your family deserves. 

Let's work together to help you create a home where all members feel loved, valued, respected, connected and accepted. 

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